I Can't Say Thi...

I Can't Say This Out Loud

You probably understand. Or maybe you don't, after all. Either way, it is jumping around inside me and if I don't let it out soon all my carbonation will fizz up and run over the side of my glass and I don't want to waste all that sweetness.

I want to kiss you underwater.

I want that kiss to be the only thing keeping us alive. Down there we are foreigners, aliens. Grasping, I want to feel your flesh in stark contrast to the smooth wetness all around me, like a secret.

All that life where we cannot live. Exotic, forbidden, so lovely. I am sick with love.

-Amanda Jerry

Gluten Free Vegetarian Taco Pie

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1. Ingredients: onion, bell pepper, carrots, soy chorizo, can of diced tomatoes, cheddar cheese, corn tortillas, veggie crumbles, taco seasoning (not pictured) and minced garlic (not pictured)


2. Dice onion, carrots, and peppers to bite size pieces.


3. Saute minced garlic in extra virgin olive oil under medium heat for about 2 minutes. Then add chopped raw veggies. Cook until soft, for about 5 minutes. Stir occasionally.


4. Add in soy chorizo and veggie crumbles, stir a few times then add you diced tomatoes.


5. Next, add your seasoning of choice. I used the Target brand of Taco Seasoning. But you can use any taco spices.


6. Turn oven on to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. While oven is heating begin assembling your pie. Treat it just like a lasagna and place one layer of corn tortillas  in the bottom of your pie dish. Then, add 2 hefty spoonfuls of your filling. Evenly spread your pie filling then top with a handful of cheese. Place a second layer of tortillas then repeat.


7. Bake in oven for 15 minutes covered with foil. Cheese underneath foil should be completely melted. After the 15 minutes, remove the foil cover then place back in oven until cheese darkens a little. Remove from oven after 5 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting.


8. Slice your pie and serve with your favorite taco toppings. I chose homemade guacamole, salsa, and greek yogurt (low cal substitute for sour cream).

ENJOY!

Bryant Park~May22, 2013

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This has to be my favorite park in the city so far. I try to go everyday as long as the weather is nice. When I'm here I pretend that I am  in sunny California. Just an hour or so of free thinking, pigeon watching and warm sun. If you ever visit NYC go to Bryant Park. I promise its worth it. I will make sure I take pictures of it at night next time, because it is just as beautiful.

Southern Style Gluten Free Shrimp & Grits

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   These are the basic ingredients for this recipe. You have: mushrooms, Gluten Free Andouille sausage, corn (i don't like canned corn too munch, but its works just the same), green onions, sweet peppers (great for color) shrimp (which i caught at a great price, $5.25 for half a pound), heavy cream and of course grits which I forgot to take a picture of.


2. Even thought I bought peeled and deveined shrimp, I like to do a second cleaning before I wash and season. I also like to take off the tail.


3. Slice your mushrooms, sweet pepper, corn and green onions. Size to your liking, I don't really like bite size pieces so I cut them medium size.


4. I used about 3 tablespoons of butter...ok maybe 4 tablespoons of butter to a nice and hot pan. I didn't use oil in this dish because I didn't want it to be greasy, plus butter adds a lot of extra flavor!


5. As the butter begins to melt add all of your veggies. Saute for about 3-5 minutes...then...


6. Add in your sausage! Mhmmm sausage!
   Note: This gluten free sausage came precooked, I wasn't a big fan of it being precooked, but it was the only gluten free sausage that I could find at the time.


7. After another 5 minutes add your heavy cream. I wanted to make the sauce for this dish, thick and creamy, so I just eye balled my amount. Its totally up to you and your liking! Then add shrimp! Make sure that you add the shrimp last because you don't want to over cook them and have rubbery shrimp. You can check after a few minutes if you like. Let simmer on low heat for about 8-10 minutes, take it off the heat then let is rest. I like to just leave the food alone & let it do its thing. No need to poke at it all the time.


8. I apologize for not concentrating on the grits as much. I make them all the time so they were pretty easy. You can start them while your sauce is finishing up.
   I also don't measure a lot because I do what comes natural to me. With that being said, I know that I used 2 cups of water, but as for the measurements of the grits I just eye balled it. If you're not sure definitely follow the instructions on the package. Cook until water boils out, stirring constantly (I know, it goes against my wishes), but you don't want burned grits. Also, with this dish you don't want your grits too gritty, so use a little tool called cream cheese...yes cream cheese! It makes them smooth and yummy, also add a tablespoon of butter for flavor.
   Note: I did see on Food Network were someone used mayo instead of cream cheese, I'm not a huge fan of mayo so I didn't go for that.


9. So once everything is done, take your favorite bowl...layer the bottom with your creamy grits and top it off with your shrimp and andouille sausage sauce! Sprinkle a little extra green onion on top and ENJOY!
   Note: My bowl isn't that deep, so its looks as if I have a lot of food, but I don't!

my mind is stronger than my body

although I love to run and make sure I maintain a healthy lifestyle, I sometimes need encouragement as well. losing 80 lbs doesn't mean that's it. I find it harder now than ever to stay motivated. its only been almost a week since my last run and im already feeling gross. yes, i used the weather, sore muscles, PMS and having family in town as an excuse but that doesn't make it right. this morning the first thing i did, even before brushing my teeth, was pack a gym bag. even though the weather is disgusting out i wont let that stop me.
so to anyone out there who has just started working out or to those who do it on a regualr basis like myself and feel like a failure for missing a few days, always remember that your mind is stronger than your body. put on those kicks and get moving!

Small town stirs BIG feelings

Last week for a few hours I spent some time in Nyack, NY. I took a quick 30 minute Metro North train ride from Grand Central to White Plains, NY. My plan was to hang out with a friend before going to pick up my sister for the weekend.  Having no set plans I got in the car and just enjoyed the ride. I immediately lost my busy, uptight NYC feeling. My body began to relax and conform to the suburban way of life. It almost felt as if I was back at home in the south. Driving along the highway I witnessed trees, mountains and rivers on both sides of the car. I wanted to get out and climb so bad. I love New York City but this is one part of the state that I don't get the chance to see too often. I was almost upset because I knew I would have to leave soon.

Arriving in the small village of Nyack we drove by cute little houses with white fences and tree swings. Each house had its own personality and special touch about them. I wanted to stop and walk through them all. Smell the old hardwoods, touch the walls and hear the stories that flowed through the walls. This small town made me feel like I was in another state. There was no way this adorable town could be apart of a state I thought was consistently a dark hole. Nyack just became one of my favorite places in this great state.

We get to this small park, called Memorial Park, that immediately reminds me of the parks I used to visit with my uncle in New Bern, NC.  The first thing I see is water. I am beaming with excitement. The park has all different types of people in it. People fishing, walking dogs, playing on the playground or just sitting and talking. We begin to walk towards the water and noticing the big crowd near the pier, we venture off the side of the park over some rocks to a more private area.

The water is calm and quiet. Just sitting and listening to the sweet words it begins to whisper. I am in heaven.

After a few moments of talking and enjoying the breeze we head back up to where others are enjoying the park. We continue to walk along the rocky walkway. The view is beautiful. A clear blue sky and good company is all a girl can ask for at the moment. We proceed to walk out of the park and into town and grabbed a slice of Buffalo Pizza from Turiello's Pizza.

 

It's a cute little family owned pizza shop that sells a plethora of famous New York style pizza. I failed to mention to my friend that I am gluten-free, so to make things easier I just ordered what he did and grabbed a ginger ale to sooth the oncoming tummy ache. The pizza was OK, not what I expected. Thankfully he didn't think it was the best pizza ever either. However, it did the job it was given. After I could not finish the massive slice of pizza we headed back to enjoy the park that was beautifully lit by moonlight.

A few hours later of talking, laughing and enjoying the beauty that God created I head back to the city where my view will become cemented skyscrapers, the smell would become of trash and sewage and the noise would be honking car horns. I love the city dearly but the Village of Nyack will definitely hold a special place in my heart.

Baby Sis turns 21 in NYC!!

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...I don't give...

...I don't give a fuck about women. I'll be a domestic housewife I love traditional roles and anyone who gotta problem with it can kiss my fat ass. Pump my gas, carry my bags and open doors. I'll sit and look pretty.

via Facebook Friend

My 25th Birthday Celebration!

http://youtu.be/_DGA_eS1pXU

Last night of being 24 never felt so good!!

"I am not a to...

"I am not a toy that you can play with when you're bored or lonely or horny. I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me! Until then, we are done."- Olivia Pope

a woman scorned

loving you isn't suppose to hurt me. i am suppose to feel the safe and secure. except i feel nothing but fear and agony. i don't know how much more i can give. i know things about you that you have no clue of me knowing. but i love you in spite of. your actions don't deserve the love that i give you. your actions don't deserve me. i love myself too damn much to be pulled, mangled and dangled. i am a great woman with a shit ton of potential and if you cant see that then there is something is wrong with you. not me. i love you, but loving you doesn't mean i have to be with you. if you want me, come get me. i refuse to chase anyone that doesn't want to be kept.

Quarter Life Reflections...

It's 10:09 on Sunday night. Yesterday was my birthday and I turned the big 25. I can now check the 25- 32 box on random applications. All day I received happy birthday wishes in various forms. At one point it got very overwhelming. I didn't realize how many people I had met over the years and the many different friendships I had formed. For a second I had a  Big Fish moment, where everyone I had met throughout my lifetime had all come to one place to celebrate my life. Everyone having different stories of how we met and the crazy situations that we got into. There were even some people that I pushed out of my life because they brought no peace to it. Those people were reminders of how far I have come as a woman and also of how I should continue to live my life.  I felt blessed to have such amazing people in my life to celebrate my life with and I can't wait to do this again next year.

I was able to celebrate in a true 25 year old fashion. Ending my year with a night of 10 amazing friends and some new ones too, wild sweaty dancing, chocolate chip cookies that Martha Stewart couldn't compete with, 10 shots of liquid birthday cake,  5 beautiful Irish men that each came with a shot of something called Jameson, a crazy taxi ride, a platter of fried goodness and my very own Coyote Ugly experience. That is all just putting it lightly.  My last night as a 24 year old rocked my socks off!

(Disclaimer: I realized the morning after that I cannot hang the way I used to in college. lol However it was fun while it lasted.)

So, now that I am officially an "adult" what do I do? What are my goals for the next 25 years? To be honest it's a little difficult to say what my goals are for the next 25 years, which is expected. However, I can say that for the next 5 years I see myself becoming something more beautiful and amazing. Not to sound cocky or anything.

In my professional life my goal is to complete my masters program and begin my career in the magazine world. I also would like to go back and do some work in the non profit sector. In my health life my goal is remain a healthy lifestyle, maybe get to my goal weight of 150lbs, I'm at 165 lbs now. This is not a major issue since I don't believe in putting pressure on oneself about this, but it would be pretty sweet to get there.  I would also like to learn a form of dance, maybe salsa. That's random but it goes with health. I would like to visit 3 new countries within the next 5 years. Traveling is very important to me and I find it to be an essential to personal growth. Lastly, my love life. Oh my infamous random love life. I don't want to make goals but I do know what I am open to. I am open to a relationship, possibly with someone that I can learn and grow with. Have wonderful experiences with and discuss a future with. I am also open to starting a family. Let's get real, I don't want to have children at a late age. I would rather start a family before I'm 35. I think it's very important for children to have parents that will be around when they have start to have their own. True, these things will come with time and patience but it's alright to put them in the air.

For now I will continue to live the life I have built for myself. Enjoy my little apartment in Brooklyn, enjoy my masters program, run around New York City and get lost from time to time, laugh and sing with my girlfriends and enjoy each day as if it were my last!