My Trip to England

My Trip to England

Hi everyone!

Here is the latest from my YouTube channel NappyNikki Vlogs! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for watching!

My Father is a Registered Sex Offender

http://youtu.be/F1B7fkLdzcY

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Sometimes, You Have to Kiss and Tell

Women always say that a good girl never kisses and tells, but sometimes that rule has to be thrown out.

Very few people get to experience mind blowing, toe curling, leg shaking, passionate sex. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about or who have never had the pleasure of experiencing this let me paint you a picture.

You have been traveling for hours you're sticky and gross. You get out of a hot shower your body squeaky clean. Wrapped in a towel you exit the bathroom only to be walked to a bed where every inch of your body is taken away from you. You lay down, your towel opens and your clean naked body is now exposed. Kissed from the top of your head, down to your neck, ending at your holy grail. Your body is floating in air and you can see yourself in pure ecstasy. Your body trembles with fire and you lose all sense of feeling in your toes, fingers, and face. Your body explodes like a volcano that has been idle for hundreds of years. What's happening is unfamiliar, scary and enticing all the same time. As you cool off you realize that you haven't been entered, just merely kissed by the sweetest lips that have ever graced the earth.

Or...

It's morning and you can feel the new Sun warming your face through the small cracks in the blinds. You know it's morning but you fight back the urgency to get out of bed. Turning your face the opposite way you feel a warm hand running up the side of your left leg. Still half asleep you let it be and enjoy the caress of his hands. You feel like a beautiful piece of art that he longs to desire. Suddenly you feel a weight on your back, not too heavy where you feel smothered, but just light enough where you feel protected. You can feel his heart beating straight through your chest. Slow, steady and calm as ever. The two bodies together begin to mold into one as he enters you from behind. He places his head in the nook of your right shoulder. Up and down, in and out your bodies dance to the beat of of the morning birds. Breathing hard each time they collide. You can't believe that something so simple can bring this much pleasure. His voice deepens as he goes deeper to find your treasure. Getting closer your body vibrates with excitement. Wanting this moment to last forever you fight your bodies urge to melt all over him. Up and down, in and out he is still inside of you. Breathing harder and harder he finds what he's been looking for. He then explodes, releasing his ink, leaving his mark and claiming that you are his. Now you both lay, he still on top of you, breathing in sync and weak from your dance. You turn your face to his and simply say, "Good morning".

Sheldon and I

For the last six days my life has been in a tiny bubble. Filled with laughs, smiles, great Thai food, Game of Thrones marathons, and hours of much-needed conversation. Thankfully my bubble stayed safe from intruders, judgement and naysayers. I traveled across the big pond to visit a friend that I haven't seen in nearly 3 years. I met Sheldon, my friend, when I was very young. He is a year older than I am, but that really doesn't matter. I won't go into great details because that would take more time than I can spare at the moment, but I will say that our relationship is truly a rare one. As I said before I spent six days with him, catching up on our lives as they are now, reflecting on pastimes and discussing our dreams of the future. I was originally hesistant to make this trip because I was a unsure on what I wanted to gain from it. We hadn't physically seen each other in 3 years, but with the help of Facebook, Skype and email we were always only a few clicks of a mouse away from each other. So having the opportunity to physically reconnect was definitely something that I could not miss. My trip started Thursday afternoon, I was eagerly awaiting my arrival to a land that was rather unfamiliar to me. After landing in the new place I had to go through the usual customs dance. While examining my passport and other paperwork, the customs agent questioned my relationship with the person that I was going to see. After informing her that I was visiting a friend from college she still asked if I was visiting my boyfriend. I unconsciously replied yes. What did I just do? After customs and a quick cleanup in the bathroom I see him, Sheldon, waiting for me just like he said. Ecstatic about seeing him we leave and go on about our way. Sheldon is just as I remembered him. Same smile, dimple on each cheek, and same smooth lips. What I don't remember about him is calmness. Not that he was a hot head before this was different. A difference that I definitely enjoyed. Each day following that was perfect. Aside from good times with friends, great food and a little touristy adventures the most important moments to me happened in the comfort of his own home. Sounds crazy to travel so far to just sit on a couch, but I was more content than ever. The point of this story is to explain the importance of friendship over love. After many talks about what we wanted from each other and the future it was clear that what needed to be protected was our friendship. The most difficult thing for me to do was tell Sheldon that I was in love with him. He too told me of his feelings for me but his hesitations were not being ready for a relationship. That I completely understood and respected. The last thing I want to do is rush into something prematurely. However, it was very important to me that he knows how I feel and vice versa. Talking with Sheldon as adults put a lot of things in perspective. Perspective that my little eyes and heart needed to hear and see. On my last day I was in another world. Sheldon, not understanding what was wrong, thought that it was something that he did. I reassured him that everything was ok. I just needed a moment to reflect on my trip and to make sure that I was making good decisions. In the end I have no doubts nor regrets from this trip. I may still be a single woman but I gained something much greater. Sheldon is no longer that immature selfish boy I once knew, he is now a man who has grown into someone I would've never imagine. So if it means that the universe never puts us together as husband and wife but we get to remain in each others lives through no matter what then that's fine by me. So to Sheldon, I said it once and I'll say it again, I love you, always have and always will. And I'll always have your back, literally. ;)

I'm Sleeping w/ My Brother and Other Confessions

I'm Sleeping w/ My Brother and Other Confessions

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The Filmstrip

I am among the small population of the New York society that enjoys riding public transportation, specifically the subway.

Riding the subway in New York is meditation for me. It has a smooth rockabye baby effect it has on me. The screeching sounds of the breaks, the rattling noise of the metal as it twists and turns all become my Zen. When I board the train and find my place, amongst the often times masses, I begin to enter my relaxation mode. This can happen either standing or sitting. My body and mind immediately goes into a sleep mode, like a computer. My muscles begin to relax and my mind starts to wander. At times I try to read a book or magazine but nothing seems to break this cycle. I eventually close my eyes and begin to fall into my comfort zone. I feel like an infant child that has been rocked to sleep by her mother.

The subway train cart is just the right size, 67x10x12.08 and with 8 doors.  It's not too small to where I feel like I have people sitting on top of me and it's not too big that when I do enter my zone I feel ridiculous and stand out. These moments that I have on the subway vary in times and days. The most popular times are early in the mornings and right after work. Both times I am more relaxed and easy to fall asleep. However, there are some moments when my body and mind are fully awake and aware of my surroundings. This is when the filmstrip appears.

There is a 30 second window in a train ride when  two trains will run side by side with a small wall that has open window like views in them. The trains don't necessarily run completely in sync. One may be 10 seconds ahead of the other. Those 30 seconds underground when the two trains are riding together is when all the magic happens. As I look into the opposite train I feel like someone has opened a window into a part of the world that I'm not supposed to see. In a very fast like lightning pace I see many different faces brown, white, black, and yellow faces. All with different expressions and having very different stories and going to different places. But the way the trains move and the windows overlapping it creates a filmstrip effect. So everyone is in one big story line.

In the morning I see several people reading newspaper and sipping coffee. Scenes of people having conversations, laughing about what happened the night before. Couples kiss and hug to go their separate ways. There are even the occasional bum. The story continues for 30 seconds then its gone. I am left waiting for the next one to play.

This may seem very small to most people but I try to enjoy the world in front of me, in every way that I can. So if it's 30 seconds of tiny glimpse into the life of someone else then that's fine of me.

How I'm Feeling Feeling About My New Body

How I'm Feeling Feeling About My New Body

Hi everyone I decided to share a little bit about my body acceptance issues after my weight loss and how I'm still dealing with it. Here is the link to my YouTube channel. I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for watching!

My First Article at BlackHairKitchen.com!

My First Article at BlackHairKitchen.com!

Hi everyone!

I wanted to share an article with you that I wrote for blackhairkitchen.com about accepting your new body. Please stop by and check out and everything else they have to offer! It's a great site to find anything and everything about Black hair beauty and culture! So, check it out! You won't be disappointed! I promise!

Thanks again for all of your support and I will have a new blog post coming very soon!

Thank You, Thank You!! You're far too Kind!!

I just wanted to quickly come by and say thank you to everyone who has stopped by my blog and showed me much love! I have reached over 500 views and I am more than excited. To some this may not be a big deal but for a new writer/blogger like myself it means more than you know! So....THANK YOU!!!!!

Stay tuned for more blog posts soon!!

i am weak, i am...

i am weak, i am small, i am poor, i am broken

i may not be strong
but every ounce of strength i have
i will use to hold you
as tightly as i can.

i may not be tall,
but i will take you higher than you have ever been
where there is no color, race, fear, or pain
and all is filled with beauty, love, and hope.

i may not have money,
but i am rich in love, and happiness, and soul
and i will share everything i have with you
each second i am by your side.

i may not have been whole,
but that was only because
i did not have my souls twin to complete me,
i had not yet found myself in you.

Laney Mejias