a long time coming

i cant remember the last time i wrote a blog post. so much has been going on in my life since the last time i wrote here. i got a new job, moved from brooklyn to the suburbs and even got engaged. yeah i know a lot of big changes. lucky for me i love change. i am one of those people who will rearrange a room every two weeks. for some reason seeing the same thing over and over again just doesn't cut it for me. when i was single living in brooklyn alone i would make something different for dinner every night. the feeling of change is orgasmic to me. i like change.

so im getting married. seems a bit far off for me. sounds crazy but i never say myself as a wife. i spent the better part of my early twenties convincing myself that i would never get married and now look where i am. scared shitless. dont get me wrong i love my fiance and look forward to being his wife. however, i have never been a wife before and only been in one relationship before him. i dont know how to do this.

i moved to the suburbs from the city and it is as if i have seen light for the first time. obviously there are differences between the two but it's just something special about increasing your quality of life when you just move 30 minutes outside of the city. since my experience has been very short so far i will wait until my 6 month mark to write a full blog post about it.

lastly, i got a new job. its going....good. its all still so new and i feel like its going to take me some time to get used to it. its my first publishing job and although im not screwing things up i do feel like i have a lot more to learn. but hey, thats why im there. to learn.

now im here. we are snowed in and had nothing to do. i really dont even know what i wanted to say when i came on here. i was actually editing videos for my YouTube channel. i super behind in videos. i left my tripod at my mother's house during the holidays. anyway, if you are still reading this by now kudos to you. you enjoy boring meaningless things. lol

i'll be back. sometime soon. i  will even set an alarm for myself to remember to write more often.

bye

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until there's a ring on it

Sometimes you have to just roll with the punches and see how things will turn out.

It is a known fact that I am a single female living in NYC and eagerly awaiting for my prince charming to come in a sweep me off my feet. It is also a known fact that the McDreamy’s and McSteamy’s aren’t flooding the streets. So instead of waiting for that part of my life to begin I will continue to have the fun that I am obligated to have.

I currently have two men in my life that I would without a doubt consider potential boyfriends. I have been friends with the first guy for about 6 years.  I will call him Guy. We met during my college years and immediately clicked. We have a pretty interesting history and have definitely been there for each other during some crazy times. For about a  year we lost touch but for the past year we have been talking more and getting our friendship back to where it used to be. Now this all sounds happy and magical but I failed to mention that he lives 3500 miles away from me. Yes, 3500 and it will be that way for a few years. I have always cared very deeply for Guy, but our timing has never been perfect. Plus, we are such great friends that I don’t even think labeling our friendship or forcing it into something that it’s not is the best idea.

The second guy is the new kid on the block. I like to call him “dude”. I met Dude a month before I moved to NY. He is absolutely everything that I am looking for in a man. He is very tall, buff, funny, responsible, handsome, smart and a very hard worker. He is also the sweetest thing ever. We talked on the phone for about a month before our first date and after meeting him on our first date I liked him even more. Since then we talked everyday and hung out quite often. That was until the day before Thanksgiving. We were scheduled to go out on a date. A date that I planned and made reservations for. We talked two days prior and everything was ok and still in check. However, when the time came for us to go out he was a no show. Not a call, text or even a fucking smoke signal. For days and at least two weeks I tried to contact him. I honestly didn’t know what to think. Was he not interested? Did he die? What? So after two weeks and I didn’t hear from him I gave up. I took it as a lost. Now it is a little over a month later and he suddenly pops back up and we are back at square one. (I would go into full detail about what happened with him for that month but that’s too much for right now, but it obviously wasn’t anything that made me no longer interested.) I was really feeling him before so why not see where are friendship goes. The point is that now we are starting over, which in some aspects is bitter sweet for me. But it only makes sense.

Besides those two there are other random men that I meet on a daily basis, people on the street, in the gym, and at functions; but none of them are anything special.

Some people would consider the above information a bit scandalous. Fortunately, I believe that myself and women alike have every right to be that way. If a woman doesn’t have a boyfriend or husband then they have every right to weigh there options and make a wise choice on who would be the better mate for them. There is nothing than being in relationship with one person and thinking about what could have been or should have been with someone else. Now I’m not saying that I am making sexy time with more than one guy at one time, although the NY guy and I have had sex once and I most certainly wouldn’t mind a replay.

But like I said, until there’s a ring on it I am just going with the flow.