Long Time, Eh?

It's been a really long time since I have written something on here and at the moment I still have no clue what to write about.

A couple of months ago one of my dear foodie/college friends committed suicide and since then my life has been a little off. I'm not exactly sure of how long I have been in this creative funk but I have had no interest in writing or recording YouTube videos. Every time I went to write something I would immediately lose interest, save the draft and never return to finish it. That happened for about a month and I finally feel as if I have things to talk about.

Losing a friend can really take a toll on you. I am the type of person the represses the feeling of grief. The only way I know how to cope with things without suffering from a panic attack is ignoring them. My boyfriend has expressed to me several times that is no way to deal with things, that which I am well aware of. However, it's what works best for me at the moment. I slowly come to realization that the person that I lost is actually gone. It's strange even to write those things and make them real. More so painful than strange.

The point however is that I am making an effort to find inspiration again. I miss writing so much. It's one way that I can say whatever I want, whenever I want and people can't judge me. If they do I will still say whatever I want and ignore them.

So now, here I am, writing to you, my readers. I hope that you all are well and enjoying your Holiday season. I will return in the coming week with more verbal spillage.

TTYS!

Nikki

Product Junkie Haul

http://youtu.be/KsgQqrJhnaM

To you, my soulmate.

To you, my soulmate..

You

You don't flatter me.

You compliment me.

You don't spend money on me.

You invest in me.

You don't view me as property.

You view me properly.

You don't lust after me.

You love me.

You don't think you're God's gift to me.

You think I'm God's gift to you.

A Thinker Vent

So I'm at work and I have absolutely nothing to do. Usually when this happens my mind races and starts to go into all kinds of directions. I will begin to over think things that don't need to be over thought, worry about things that need no worry and stress about something that isn't even worth it. This is all because I have this problem called "A Thinker". You see when the average person has about 2-5 thoughts running through their mind I have about 10-15. That's 10-15 complete thoughts in my mind at once. I have no clue how I juggle all of them but it seems to work out for me. At times I just want to relax and have a clear mind but that doesn't happen to often. I will literally try to not think about something. But thinking about that makes me think about other things and then I'm back to 10-15 thoughts. It's annoying! I feel like I have tried everything. I will even attempt to write my thoughts down, thinking maybe this will help alleviate some space in my mind. Then that empty space is filled with new thoughts. I need an off/on button for my brain. Maybe that will help. I'm not sure. Whatever I need to do I hope that I can come to some sort of conclusion quick.