Sheldon and I

For the last six days my life has been in a tiny bubble. Filled with laughs, smiles, great Thai food, Game of Thrones marathons, and hours of much-needed conversation. Thankfully my bubble stayed safe from intruders, judgement and naysayers. I traveled across the big pond to visit a friend that I haven't seen in nearly 3 years. I met Sheldon, my friend, when I was very young. He is a year older than I am, but that really doesn't matter. I won't go into great details because that would take more time than I can spare at the moment, but I will say that our relationship is truly a rare one. As I said before I spent six days with him, catching up on our lives as they are now, reflecting on pastimes and discussing our dreams of the future. I was originally hesistant to make this trip because I was a unsure on what I wanted to gain from it. We hadn't physically seen each other in 3 years, but with the help of Facebook, Skype and email we were always only a few clicks of a mouse away from each other. So having the opportunity to physically reconnect was definitely something that I could not miss. My trip started Thursday afternoon, I was eagerly awaiting my arrival to a land that was rather unfamiliar to me. After landing in the new place I had to go through the usual customs dance. While examining my passport and other paperwork, the customs agent questioned my relationship with the person that I was going to see. After informing her that I was visiting a friend from college she still asked if I was visiting my boyfriend. I unconsciously replied yes. What did I just do? After customs and a quick cleanup in the bathroom I see him, Sheldon, waiting for me just like he said. Ecstatic about seeing him we leave and go on about our way. Sheldon is just as I remembered him. Same smile, dimple on each cheek, and same smooth lips. What I don't remember about him is calmness. Not that he was a hot head before this was different. A difference that I definitely enjoyed. Each day following that was perfect. Aside from good times with friends, great food and a little touristy adventures the most important moments to me happened in the comfort of his own home. Sounds crazy to travel so far to just sit on a couch, but I was more content than ever. The point of this story is to explain the importance of friendship over love. After many talks about what we wanted from each other and the future it was clear that what needed to be protected was our friendship. The most difficult thing for me to do was tell Sheldon that I was in love with him. He too told me of his feelings for me but his hesitations were not being ready for a relationship. That I completely understood and respected. The last thing I want to do is rush into something prematurely. However, it was very important to me that he knows how I feel and vice versa. Talking with Sheldon as adults put a lot of things in perspective. Perspective that my little eyes and heart needed to hear and see. On my last day I was in another world. Sheldon, not understanding what was wrong, thought that it was something that he did. I reassured him that everything was ok. I just needed a moment to reflect on my trip and to make sure that I was making good decisions. In the end I have no doubts nor regrets from this trip. I may still be a single woman but I gained something much greater. Sheldon is no longer that immature selfish boy I once knew, he is now a man who has grown into someone I would've never imagine. So if it means that the universe never puts us together as husband and wife but we get to remain in each others lives through no matter what then that's fine by me. So to Sheldon, I said it once and I'll say it again, I love you, always have and always will. And I'll always have your back, literally. ;)