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| My mom and I in 2007 |
Hearing that so often made me feel as if whatever I was doing wasn't good enough. I got good grades in school but did she want great? l worked several jobs but should there have been more? I helped With my sisters but was I not good role model? Those were the thoughts I had as a kid. Not so much my thoughts now, Now, I try my hardest to give my sisters advice that they can use and learn from my experiences. Usually they don't listen but i still try,
My mom was a single parent of four girls and started having children at a very young age. That is something I will always respect her for, because to this day I have no clue how she put up with me and my sisters. As the oldest sister I had a lot of responsibility and many times I felt that I wouldn't live up to the standards that she had for me. Most times I would get "The Talk" from my mom I would sit and think, "How in the world am I going to keep up with all these thing?" In the same mindset I would try to figure out how I can live up to my own expectations. At one point I just gave in and forgot about what I wanted in life.
Now, as an adult I still wonder if I am living up to my mothers expectations. Although I have never asked her what she expects from me, I wonder if I am where she dreamed of. I make it a point to keep in mind if my mom would be happy with decisions that I make. I'm not saying that I have never done anything that will make her unhappy but I still think about how she will feel.
I find it very difficult to balance pleasing your parents and pleasing yourself. I find it even harder to choose between the two. Now, in my life I am learning to choose my happiness over others, even my parents. It's not that I don't want to please my mother it's just that I know if I am not happy within myself I can be happy for others around me. Everything that I do has to be for the benefit for me and the life that I live. The life that I am not only living for myself but also my future family.
Living up to your parents expectations can be scary but I believe it takes a strong person to stand up those expectations when they don't fit into their life. If a parents respects their child and the growth that they will experience they will respect that resistance and support them.
One thing that I love abut my mom is that she has always supported me, even when she didn't agree with that my decision was. We don't always agree but we always make a way to understand where each other is coming from.
My mom was a single parent of four girls and started having children at a very young age. That is something I will always respect her for, because to this day I have no clue how she put up with me and my sisters. As the oldest sister I had a lot of responsibility and many times I felt that I wouldn't live up to the standards that she had for me. Most times I would get "The Talk" from my mom I would sit and think, "How in the world am I going to keep up with all these thing?" In the same mindset I would try to figure out how I can live up to my own expectations. At one point I just gave in and forgot about what I wanted in life.
Now, as an adult I still wonder if I am living up to my mothers expectations. Although I have never asked her what she expects from me, I wonder if I am where she dreamed of. I make it a point to keep in mind if my mom would be happy with decisions that I make. I'm not saying that I have never done anything that will make her unhappy but I still think about how she will feel.
I find it very difficult to balance pleasing your parents and pleasing yourself. I find it even harder to choose between the two. Now, in my life I am learning to choose my happiness over others, even my parents. It's not that I don't want to please my mother it's just that I know if I am not happy within myself I can be happy for others around me. Everything that I do has to be for the benefit for me and the life that I live. The life that I am not only living for myself but also my future family.
Living up to your parents expectations can be scary but I believe it takes a strong person to stand up those expectations when they don't fit into their life. If a parents respects their child and the growth that they will experience they will respect that resistance and support them.
One thing that I love abut my mom is that she has always supported me, even when she didn't agree with that my decision was. We don't always agree but we always make a way to understand where each other is coming from.
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