Gotta Get that Swagg Back

So a few nights ago I was having a conversation with one of my good guy friends, Parris, and one statement that he made really got me thinking about my personal life and things that I would like to work on within myself. 

Here is the important part of our conversation. 

• Parris: Yeah but like i was saying the swagger that attracted me to you was like you not giving a shit if you had a man or not. And when I say your playing the awkward black girl role I mean your blaming what makes you Dom on a social status that’s not really known for bagging dudes. You gotta get that swag back. P.S IT WAS FUCKIN HAWT


• Me: Damn…That’s honestly one of the realist things someone has ever said to me. And its 100% true. I gotta get that back. I can completely understand where you’re coming from.


• Parris: I mean you have everything a guy wants but your just not showing that.


• Me:But how should I show it? I think that’s what I’m not understanding.


• Parris: Idk. But when the time comes everything should come out naturally :) 

After we had this discussion it really put some things into perspective for me. I couldn’t figure when my perspective on relationships and dating had changed. I have realized that since I have been back home many people have asked me whether or not I’m dating and when I plan on starting. I’ve even had people to say that I should start dating asap. Which is something that got and gets on my nerves and it eventually started to change my perspective on the topic. I mean just the other day I was asked if I was seeing someone. The questions about it never stops. And eventually I began to believe some of the things that are said. I started to think that I needed to be in a relationship and that I was incomplete without one. Which is of course all wrong! 

Before I go into some long drawn out rant about this I just want to say to all those married or non single people who think it is their duty in life to lecture singles about their personal lives, stop it! Instead of trying to dictate our lives why don’t you try to be encouraging to us. We don’t need you to remind us every chance you get that we are single. We know that. Besides, many of us are comfortable with our status. It’s the unnecessary comments of you annoyances that make matters worst.  So leave us be.

Since that conversation with Parris I have made it a point to get my “swagg” back. I also realized after talking to him that I was much happier in my personal life when I didn’t put much focus into being single. I very much enjoyed my life and everything in it. Now, I have allowed the voices of others to influence me and change my perspective on being single. Well, no more. I refuse to let others opinions affect my life. I’m getting that swagg back. Whether they like it or not.  

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Healthy progress before and after picture. 1 year apart.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, & self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Teresa

The people who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, & becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; he has fortified his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.